Best buddies Freddy and Marvin naively think a life of crime will be glamorous and rewarding, but when they mess up a simple job for their new boss, the hilarious and violent consequences spiral out of control!
There was a clear attempt to create something exciting. To recreate the quirky comedy and gratuitous violence and insanity of Guy Ritchie's Snatch or Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, with the small world vibe of New Zealand. Lowdown Dirty Criminals falls short of the mark; a 90-minute feature film that feels more like a spinoff of Outrageous Fortune than it's own well-developed piece.
Lowdown Dirty Criminals stars a veritable ensemble of familiar faces; from Boy's James Rolleston, Packed To The Rafters' Rebecca Gibney, Scott Wills from Underbelly NZ: Land Of The Long Green Cloud, to Robbie Magasiva from Sione's Wedding, and Cohen Holloway (What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt For The Wilderpeople, Thor: Ragnarok, Eagle Vs Shark). This is as kiwi as you can get in terms of cast, but is also very kiwi with how it caters to the lowest common denominator in terms of its comedy stylings.
This has such a quintessential kiwi look and feel to it, that you want it to succeed; you are willing this to be another international hit like Hunt for the Wilderpeople or What We Do In The Shadows. What we have, however, is something that feels like an exaggerated broadway play that has had its timeline switched around to make the story feel more exciting. Every character is completely one-dimensional and has an over-the-top flair for the dramatic. Excessive to the point that a child watching the tv through a window from across the street will still know exactly what is going on. There is no room for subtlety here.
The humour itself is enjoyable if you are young enough. Everything is either a visual or a physical gag; look how crazy he looks! look how overweight that man is! ew! is he watching porn? There are no deep meanings or hidden contexts in Lowdown Dirty Criminals, everything is spelt out by the antagonists and protagonists but misunderstood by each other, which leads to the gratuitous unnecessary violence. Why are they incapable of properly communicating? Because if they could, the film wouldn't exist.
Initially, it all catches your interest. It's pretty fast-paced and wacky, but as the film progresses, it becomes clear that there is no real story, the protagonists have such little development that you don't care what happens to them, and even as the blood and gore step up, as an audience member it all stops registering or garnering a reaction. In this manner, you could compare Lowdown Dirty Criminals to one of Daniel Radcliffe's latest films (which coincidentally was also filmed in New Zealand), Guns Akimbo, which fetishized the physical and toilet humour along with gory violence.
The soundtrack works quite well, with some great tracks from kiwi greats Collision, Gin Wigmore, Supergroove, and even young heavy metalheads Alien Weaponry get two tracks on the soundtrack. All of this Kiwiana adds to my disappointment at the conclusion of this film. It was kiwi cast with kiwi music, shot in kiwi-land, but the script is so weak that it feels as if they have dumbed it down. It's condescending enough to say that we made this for you from all your stuff, but we will spell out everything and make the story really basic, otherwise, we don't think you'll get it.
I watched it, I laughed a few times, and I cringed a few times, but by the end of the film, the non-linear narrative was more annoying than joyful, and there were insufficient stakes built up to make for a satisfying final act. On the wrong side of the comedy/satire line, Lowdown Dirty Criminals can't be taken seriously at all, so all threats of violence and ultimatums, end up having no effect at hooking the audience in. You can have comedy, but you need to properly develop your characters and validate the threats. None of that has happened here.
Save this one for when you are under the influence; you'll love it then.
Lowdown Dirty Criminals is in cinemas from August 20, 2020