CATS (2019)


A tribe of cats must decide yearly which one will ascend to the Heaviside Layer and come back to a new life.

Cats, based on Andrew Lloyd Webber’s globally popular Cats Broadway musical, which in itself is based on Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats, a collection of light poems by T. S. Eliot. Its adaptation to the big screen was one of Hollywood’s best-kept secrets until right before the first trailer dropped, and what a surprise that was. Not only was the adaptation unexpected, unwanted, and unwarranted, the special effects and character designs were so abhorrent that the studio underwent an “overhaul” of the effects prior to the release of the second trailer. It has since been released overseas (only opening in cinemas in New Zealand on Boxing Day) but received such a poor reception from critics, that it underwent another “improvement” of the special effects while still in theatres.


Cats is a prime example of a director not understanding the medium. With Tom Hooper having directed the 2012 musical film Les Misérables, he should be an expert in understanding the differences between the mediums of Broadway Theatre and Cinematic Theatre. With a Broadway musical, there are limitations in place; actions must be exaggerated, there is no sense of cinematography as the audience is only able to view the piece from one angle, and being done live, the visual aspect of costuming and set environments is extremely limited. The appeal of theatre is managing to do a lot, and convey those emotions and story without the big budgets or CGI. On the other hand, film has the advantages of being able to put a camera anywhere and make use of the cinematography to bring emotional power through subtlety. In cinema, you can also design any kind of outfit, character, or set design. The limitations of live theatrical performances do not exist in cinema, which is why an audience would expect something on a much grander scale when something to the pedigree of Cats is being adapted into an unrestricted medium.


What the audience end up with is a feature film that is set out to reproduce a bad acid trip. The cats in Cats are supposed to be actual cats (something that Broadway has limited ways of visually showing) but despite the ability to create any form of character design, Cats has created these bizarre half-naked feline-human hybrids. You look at their heads from above and they do look like real cats, but face them from the front, and the monstrosities are far less palatable. The opening scenes of the film combine a dizzying haphazard style of cinematography, with poorly done wire-work, a spine-tinglingly creepy and dissonant musical score to create a completely nightmarish fever dream. When you have more convincing deepfake videos, you know there has been some pretty indecisive minds in the creative department.


With inconsistent CGI, the faces of the actors are attached to their bodies with varying degrees of quality in execution. The faces are one of the big faux pa’s as it seems, creating a visually pleasing experience for the audience seems less of a priority than making sure we are aware that there are some big names involved. In reality, the idea of watching James Corden, Judi Dench, Jason Derulo, Idris Elba, Jennifer Hudson, Ian McKellen, Taylor Swift, and Rebel Wilson dancing around in flesh coloured morph suits would be just as off-putting as some of the set-pieces put together in this film.


In fact, having well-known faces seems more important than choosing people that are able to dance, sing or act, creating a cacophony of tones, as every character brings their own style due to the limitations of their own abilities. Yes, Dame Judi Dench looks swell as Old Deuteronomy, but her singing abilities are lacking and stall the pacing of the film (especially when nothing else is going on onscreen). Sir Ian McKellen suffers from a similar fate, while Jason Derulo looks more out of place than a male stripper at a five-year-old’s birthday party. Rebel Wilson is…well…Rebel Wilson; she plays the same uncoordinated source of physical humour that she always does. In one scene Idris Elba just looks like a greased-up naked man. 


The standout performances actually end up coming from Robbie Fairchild and Francesca Hayward. Fairchild who oozes with charisma, a smooth singing voice, and quick moves. Hayward, on the other hand, perfectly encapsulates that naivety and innocence, her eyes capable of perfectly conveying a wide range of emotions, from fear to an inescapable sense of wonder. Her performance is mesmerizing, her movements somewhat seductive, and she steals the spotlight every chance that she gets. Her experience as a principal dancer in the Royal Ballet at Covent Garden is plain to see, and is a delight to watch.


The story is exactly that of the musical, and offers nothing new in that regard; the same characters are put forward, with the same personality traits--though some genders are swapped around, not that it affects the story at all. It would be difficult to derail the story, as there is no real plot to follow. A series of introductory songs for each of the cats provide the basis of the bulk of the story. There is little to get emotionally invested in, as little happens outside of these introductory song-and-dances, with no real physical threat provided. Jennifer Hudson’s character Grizabella gets the most character development and does pull off an emotional performance of the song “Memory”, even though the outcome was obvious from the very beginning of the film.  


Despite some incredibly off-putting and unusual sequences, Cats was actually a fun film to watch. Not because of an engaging story, but because of some highly questionable design choices, that come across as a comedic house of horrors. A disturbing attempt at cuteness, Cats is laughable as a serious piece, but weird enough to get some enjoyment from. In that regards, the novelty does wear off after a while, and the third act does begin to drag, but for the first two acts, the descent into madness manages to keep you watching (for all the wrong reasons).