In an effort to avoid paying off a massive gambling debt to a notorious mobster in England, two badly behaved con artists flee to Los Angeles, where they hatch a convoluted plot to steal jewels.
A comedic heist film with a star-studded cast that includes Uma Thurman, Tim Roth, Sofia Vergara, and Stephen Fry? That sounds like a winning formula. Badass stone-faced fight scenes, charming suave dialogue, beauty, and intellectualism would be the aspects I would expect each character to bring to the table (sure, they are actors and are meant to do whatever the script says, but those are undeniably their strengths). Unfortunately, most of this seems absent.
The opening scenes in the film set a fun and seductively self-destructive tone that works really well. It puts forwards a decidedly deceitful couple (Thurman and Roth) who are slaves to their desires and have zero evidence of a conscience. It creates a high stakes excitement that really pulls you in. The remainder of the film fails to follow through.
The characters become nothing but one-dimensional. Alcoholics, drug addicts, the delusional, the gay man that loves young boys, the celebrity, the philanderer. With no character development beyond these fickle character traits, there isn't a single character that is likeable, and as such, the audience loses any sense of investment that they have in their plight.
The comedic element of the film relies heavily on the audience enjoying seeing the main couple (I would not call them protagonists) binge drinking at unorthodox times moments. And it does garner several laughs, but the comedic effect reduces every time it is used, having no effect at all by the end of the 95-minute runtime (the film actually feels much longer).
The Con is On is a poor Americanised imitation of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. The con is barely present, and the cast members have no charisma or chemistry. An absolute waste of my time.